There are studies that even indicate that the more a child is hugged, the more money they will make.
I’m resharing the article I wrote below in which working on my money mindset really started to clean up my dating life.
Along the journey to allowing more money to come into my life, it’s required me to step up and also allow more love into my life. Who knew that the two were so intricately correlated???
At the core, I believed that if “I were not a needy, dependent women, then I’d be useless to any man, and he’d have no reason to love me.” I could see that it was always an either/or situation in my mind. I believed I had to give up being who I am in order to be with someone. Always, in my mind, the cost of any relationship felt too high, and I had a habit of sabotaging my relationships.
So often I coach people on their either/or beliefs that leave them feeling trapped with their money. They stay in jobs they don’t like and they settle in their relationships too. They blame it on their money.
I also practice coaching myself on the regular, and with the not dating happening for me in 2020, I had only time to sit with these thoughts and coach myself now.
I started to examine this belief a bit more, and a few weeks ago, my whole belief system came crashing down like a house of cards. I’m not going to lie. It was an intense 3 days of crying on my couch. By now, I’ve become comfortable with the discomfort of crumbling belief systems. It’s a bit miserable at best, but the thought I was believing was already creating a miserable love life for me.
I’ve learned to accept that the misery is part of the process. I call it the ‘river of misery’ and we all must pass though it in order to get to the other side and build a new belief system. Our brains like to predict and control, so brains put up quite a fuss about going into new territories… that’s the misery. Our brains like to be right. And, even if gets to predict the end that love is not possible, it chooses being right over being happy. And, despite the hard part of rewiring your brain, it’s the BEST WORK YOU’LL EVER DO!
Along my money journey, I learned that we don’t GET money, we call it it in. And, we call it in by raising our vibration and our belief system. The same is true with love. You don’t GET your partner, you call him (or her) in. You raise your vibration to that which you are seeking and you attract your partner. That was news to me because I alway thought I had to EARN LOVE, and do something to be considered lovable.
I grew up in a home where, “I love you” was said only when someone wanted something from me. And hugs were only begged for after a slew of verbal abuse. They were never offered freely. Neither were the words. I also saw love as a ‘quid pro quo’ situation. I was always antsy to not be indebted to someone. First of all, that’s totally no fun!! Who wants to date that??? And second, when someone really cares about you, they love to just BE GENEROUS for the sake of being generous. That made me so uncomfortable. It didn’t leave me feeling love, it left me feeling obligated, and I really needed to overcome this and let my partner be loving and generous to me.
I also had a deep belief that I was unworthy of good things happening to me, so why would I attract a good relationship? That would make no sense as it would be a direct conflict to my belief.
At ground zero with my beliefs, I let a tiny new thought slip in as I noticed so many of my good friends in really great loving relationships. “What if it is also possible for me?”
Now, that my old belief system has crumbled, I have decided to hire a Love Mentor. That is the ACTION that stems from my new belief that it just might be possible! For me!! I’m looking forward to building a solid new belief system.
What if you really do deserve miraculous, surprising, and lasting love? And, what if the whole universe is conspiring in your favor?
Join my private Facebook group, Mind Your Money, for upcoming chat’s on what’s love got to do with it – we’ll talk all things love AND money because you really can have both.
This is you time to love your current situation! Let’s Talk.