“I love dating!” Said no-one ever.
But, here’s the thing. You can’t hate your way to love. Anyone that knows even the slightest bit about the law of attraction knows that your thoughts and feelings give off your “vibe.”
If you are miserable, frustrated, and bored with dating, you’re going to keep putting out that vibe and attracting more misery, frustration, and people that are so uninteresting that you’re bored and burnt out from the whole process.
When dating, I used to have a lot of thoughts going through my head:
- He won’t be interested in me
- I’m too kooky for this guy
- I’m not clever
- I’m not funny
- I’m not sarcastic enough
- I’m not smart enough
Those thoughts kept me settling for guys that I found uninteresting. If I really wanted to attract the partner I was interested in, I was going to need to raise my vibe. And, honestly, I wanted someone adventurous, able to laugh at silly things, have my back, and communicate the hard stuff.
If that’s what I want, then I’m going to have to show up that way. So, I DECIDED to see dating as an adventure.
I even adopted a mantra:
“I already love all the guys I meet, especially the one that aren’t right for me because they help me find the one that is right.”April Wahl
Every experience I have with someone is a mini adventure and gives me feedback of what I want more of. Notice, I seek feedback in the form of the direction I want to go…. Not what I don’t want.
I’m beginning to laugh at all the silly things. The guy that learns my name and keeps calling me other months…. Instead of getting mad and thinking, “there’s no one that’s a good fit for me,” I laugh at how clever he his (sarcasm), think “he’s not MY clever” and then swipe left! I start to imagine I’m in a romcom and laugh about how silly all of it is.
When I meet guys that don’t even ask about my needs or wants, or even ask me questions on a date, I have my own back! I’m holding out for that guy that is passionately crazy about me, and I’m real. If I want to be with a guy that will communicate the hard stuff with me, I’m going to need to be that person he can do that with. And, that means I need to keep showing up when dating isn’t all fun and games. I keep doing the hard things. I will not back down.
The main reason we get burnt out dating is because we’re in it for the result, and we get “results entitlement.” I see people do this in their business too. I showed up and gave my free seminar. Why aren’t they all lined up at my door? This doesn’t work. I quit. It’s like we put ourselves out there, and when we don’t get the person we want immediately, our attitude is that, “I don’t want to play.”
You’ve got to love the PROCESS. Because when you are playing, the people that want to play with you are going to show up.
Dating is a numbers game. So, are the numbers in your bank account. What do you make them all mean?
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