Using Money as the Salve

April Wahl Money Mindset Leave a Comment

“The deeper your capacity for pain, the deeper your capacity for joy.”

That year, I lost one of my most beloved pets.  Most of you can relate to this heart wrenching pain.  

How do you deal with it???  

For many of us, we like to numb the pain. Some use alcohol or other substances. Some used video games or gambling.

Some of us use shopping as a welcome distraction. 

Despite the fact that I was not spending any money beyond basic living expenses, I decided to go and wander the mall as a distraction anyway. That particular day, I remember walking into the Hallmark store. I happened to notice all the lovely pet memorabilia.  Instantly, the thought entered my mind that I could buy such a memento and maybe it would transmute the ache in my heart.

I looked at the souvenir. $14.99.  I argued with myself about my spending protocol.  It was ONLY $14.99….  

Surely, I could make an exception for a broken heart …

Only, in that moment, I realized that spending $14.99 was not going fix the hurt.   

I was so angry by this realization. It felt like life was so unfair.  If spending the money, wasn’t going to fix my broken heart, then what was the point of spending it.

I moved along.  I sat with my sadness… it was not as unbearable as I feared.  The worst thing that happened was the feeling.  At the very depth of my grief was a Golden Nugget of healing and the place where I discovered the vast beauty in the contrast of our human emotions.  

Where might you be using money to buffer your emotions???  Consider waiting just 24 hours before unplanned spending and see what urge arises that you were hoping the spending would fix. Discover your rich inner life instead. 

Do you use Money as a Salve and want to discover how to stop? Let’s Talk.

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