Our biography shapes our biology.
The stories we tell ourselves and the words we use are so powerful that they literally shape our reality.
Habitually, we often tell ourselves that we NEED something. We rarely speak of just WANTING something.
My year of not spending broke me of this habit as I would continuously hear myself and others speak of how often things were “needed.” With my big purposeful pause, I could feel the scarcity feeling in the absence of my knee jerk reactions to the word need.
Think about it. Listen throughout your day to yourself and others.
- “I NEED such and such.”
- “I NEED to do this or that.”
- “I NEED more time.”
- “I NEED more money.”
- “I NEED to think about it.”
The thing is, we say the word need as if it’s an absolute fact.
The moment we say the word “NEED,” our brain flips into scarcity mode.
It creates a feeling of urgency. And with the feeling of scarcity and urgency, we set our nervous systems into fight or flight. This can spiral and perpetuate until we become conscious and bring ourselves out of this state. You’ll know you’re living in this habit if you’re pretty much living pay check to paycheck and/or you become uncomfortable at certain income levels and amounts of savings.
So, how can you come out of that scarcity spiral?
During my year without spending, I developed a mantra. “All I have is all I need.” It will bring you back to the present moment in which every time you’re able to see that right now you really do have all you need. Every time. You may WANT more, but that’s an entirely different issue. Every time, I said need, I would replace it with my mantra and notice, I had a place to sleep, clean drinking water, my breath, and at least one meal a day.
I had all that I needed.
From there, I could recognize that I WANTED more.
This is the rub. So many of us feel that we’re not entitled or deserving enough to want more than we need. So, then we turn everything into a need in order to justify our wanting.
The word NEED always give us permission because of the meaning we give it. Our very survival depends on it! Your brain will follow the need order faster than you can blink! But, coming from a place of scarcity and urgency, it never feels good. We actually feel powerless to our ability to create what we truly want. We hold ourselves back. We feel stuck at the mercy of our circumstances.
Notice every time you say the word need. Replace that word with want.
It’s okay for you to want. Watch yourself create the world you want and not the world you need.
After awhile, I felt it deeply that all I have is all I need. Now, I like to think one more notch higher on the abundance scale, “I always have enough, and I make more just for fun.”
That thought leaves me deeply satisfied and eager for more. Try it on.
Are you ready to step into the life you WANT? Let’s Talk.